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What's Happening to Home
(A Book Review)
You know, if you read my Divine Computer Tips weekly newsletter, that I'm an avid reader. My tastes usually run to fiction, especially fantasy, but every now and then I break out of the mold and read something good for me! Since I'm in a mental place where I really want to create my ideal life, I've been focusing on books that help me create boundaries between my home life and business as well as helping me become very clear about what I want. (I joke with my husband that 2006 is the Year of the Epiphany or Year of the Dawn. He wants to know when it's not the Year of the Dawn. Humph.) My Year of the Epiphany began early in January with the realization that I had been miserable - emotionally and physically - for days, culminating in my feeling paralyzed and not being able to write anything (oh, the horror!). My husband was stressed to the limit as well, and the last time we were this stressed, we moved across country. That doesn't seem to be a viable option now. My resources were completely depleted, and I had nothing more to give. My clients had come to ask more and more of me (because I'm good at what I do and I deliver), and more and more was being sapped out of me. I wanted to give 100% at home as well, and so I made sure I lived up to my own expectation of being an ideal mom. I had nothing left to give. Epiphany #2 - I've changed drastically personally in the last four years; now my business has to catch up. What I want today is different from what I wanted four years ago. How I want to live my life is different, and I'm starting to do what I want. My business had gotten left behind, and now it needs to be at the same place I am. So, on to non-fiction I go, and What's Happening to Home - Balancing Work, Life, and Refuge in the Information Age by Maggie Jackson is at the center of my radar. Now, let me start by saying that even if you don't "work" outside the home or have a business that you run from home, the insights in this book are important to us all, primarily as caregivers and members of a family, and even more so as a civilization. Here are some excerpts from the book that struck me as quite powerful:
Even if we're not trying to manically balance a career with our home lives, those parents who try to manage the home life (and activities, and dinner, and keeping the house clean) can get lost in the "job" of being a parent and keeper of the home. How much of what Maggie Jackson discusses applies to the stay-at-home parent as well? How often do we try to remain connected and available to our families? As children get older and demands change, how does that affect us and home? Even if your work isn't changing at lightning speed like mine, maybe your home is. If we step outside of ourselves, we see that there are changes: child starts full-day kindergarten; daughter is on the swim team that practices three days a week with swim meets every Saturday along with membership on the academic decathlon team; son is in band, plays basketball, and works the varsity basketball games. These changes must affect the home life - can we eat dinner together every night? How about one night a week? Do we have time for family game night? When does the whole family spend time together? I've found that we have to be willing to make change and deal with what that means. When I first wrote notes for this article I thought it might revolve around how we women have thrust away the chains of domestic chores in favor of a career, volunteering, home schooling, or anything that makes us feel less a maid and more a person. There certainly is a question of how we reconcile it all - not being held to the domestic shackles, but as a result, the domestic environment dissolves altogether. However, I decided that this article was really more about change - how changes in our lives affect our home, and how changes in our home affect our lives. As parents, and as members of a community, we need a home because being at home simply is not enough. |
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©2005, Dawn Goldberg and After School Snacks.
Reprint rights Dawn Goldberg is a Certified Master Virtual Assistant, COO of Assist University, mother, community leader, and former teacher. Her vision is to create a resource that helps parents find ways to enjoy valuable, constructive time with their children every day. Contact her at angel@virtualangel.biz or visit www.afterschoolsnacks.com. |

